A good friend of mine, when asked what she was looking forward to in retirement, responded, “Going to lunch with my friends.”
I suppose for some that doesn’t sound like much of a plan. After all, where’s the meaning in it? What’s the purpose?
Having shared many conversations over lunch, dinner, and breakfast, mostly prepared in her home, I assure you that her intention to fill her retirement years surrounding herself with friends has a significant purpose. We can sit for hours discussing everything from the limited value of “best-before” dates on yogurt to pressing global realities and all matters in between.
Why would we not carve such interactions after retirement having free time and wisdom gathered from having engaged with life for several decades? As discussed in earlier blog articles, there are ample research findings that highlight the importance of relationships as a key factor in how healthily we will age. Sitting with women friends regularly sharing our thoughts and experiences, brings with it a sense of being heard and inspires growth.
I often overhear conversations of women at other tables when out with friends. There is a range of topics and an unlimited outpouring of different opinions. Sharing food, laughter, and tears, these women are discussing relationships, their children, their aging and health issues, and caring for aging parents. Make no mistake though, these women are also having insightful conversations about broader topics as they critically examine issues of health care, education, food security, sustainable housing, homelessness, politics, and world affairs.
Women’s voices are often disregarded, or at best given a slight nod of recognition, when it comes to discussing global matters. We gather to support and inspire one another, we talk about the latest Netflix movie we have watched and we discuss so much more.
Women should not hesitate to speak up and add their views to conversations around the “big ticket” items. Every time we lend our voice to the dialogue we raise the consciousness of those around us, women and men.
I fear that the rapid on-slot of connections being dominated by the use of our tech devices could one day replace the practice of women gathering. Making an effort to meet with our trusted friends, discussing our joys and challenges, and taking our place in the dialogue of issues large and small, is essential not only to our well-being but also to the well-being of others.
Women, of all cultures, have been gathering since the beginning of time. We will always find a way. There was a time when wise women, gifted with maternal intuition, gathered in circles as healers and community influencers. Thousands were burned to death as witches. Could it be that the gathering of women threatened to weaken the patriarchal rule of the day? I will leave the discussion of the historical correctness to those more informed than me but I will confidently offer this. The gathering of women is natural, powerful, and necessary.
Does having lunch, or coffee (my personal favorite), with women friends constitute a meaningful use of our time in retirement?
Hell yes!
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When I retired, having lunch with friends was one of the things I said I was looking forward to as well! I certainly enjoy my lunch get togethers, whether going out to a restaurant, going to a friend’s home, or preparing lunch in my home! They have been a source of laughter, some tears, therapy, and knowledge!
Thanks Cathy. Women friends have so much to offer one another. I believe such relationships are key to us aging well!
On point, Heather. Nothing better than getting together with women friends. We are supportive of each other, have fun together, but also we get things done with cooperation and empathy.
Oh, Heather, you have captured the essence of “doing” lunch with friends perfectly! I look forward to many more such occasions/interactions with you in our days to come 🥰! Thank you for sharing your wisdom ! I am sharing with my women friends, too.