“Fill your boots”, was a phrase I often heard used by older people when I was a child. I knew that it meant something like, “Go ahead. Be my guest. Help yourself.” I also had a sense that it was often being used in a more flippant manner, daring someone to go ahead and do something that was not supported and they most likely would fail at.
Recently I became curious about the origin of such a phrase and found that it has old English roots and has been used in a number of different contexts. Some positive, some not. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, it is a very old phrase of English origin meaning to “take as much of something as you want”. The Urban Dictionary definition goes a bit further and implies it also means to “attempt a difficult task or ordeal”.
Perhaps if we are to fully engage in our lives as we age we will need to give ourselves permission to go ahead and help ourselves to as much of something that we want. What that something is will be different for each of us. Acquiring it could be a difficult task.
I am not implying that we should think only of ourselves greedily taking as much of anything that we desire but rather this is an invitation to explore what it really means to go ahead and “help” ourselves.
Helping ourselves can feel very foreign as in our earlier years we were more inclined to predominately lay our own wishes aside in order to fully meet those of others. Now, with the tasks of earlier years fading we are called forward into a greater expanse of who we are and it has a limited semblance to how we may have been in our earlier decades. As we age let’s remain curious and courageous about what is it we want and how we can move closer to it. Let’s go ahead and help ourselves, to our full capacity, as we experience our aging process; albeit a difficult task at times. Of the naysayers who don’t support our choices or are waiting for us to fail, let’s be understanding. People can only extend as far as they themselves have traveled. Witnessing our willingness to step outside our comfort zones may be the very experience that ignites a spark within someone else to try and do the same.
What do you envision if you were to go ahead and fill your boots? What emotions stir as you consider the idea?
I feel empowered by the “fill your boots” challenge! My curiosity may not extend into the depths and breadths of other’s’ interests, however I make no apologies for that, nor does that diminish the value of my interests. It’s freeing to “be” and not limit myself by other’s’ expectations, nor strive to achieve perfection!
Going outside my comfort zone, for me, is actualized by unshackling myself from “owning” the responses of others as I “fill my boots”! That, I feel, translates to being courageous as resultant reactions of others can release uncomfortable emotions and unwanted remembrances of previous interactions. There is always self evaluation and room for growth along life’s continuum, and thank you, Heather, for posing this question.
Thank you Sandra for being so honest in your comment. You make a very valid point in that to “fill your boots” is not meant to look the same for one woman as it might for others. I think many women would agree with you that the greatest feat at this stage of life is to free ourselves from others expectations and just ‘be’ ourselves. The first adulthood is busy with working hard, achieving, and accomplishing. The second adulthood brings with it gifts of freedom and self-awareness. It is within that self-awareness that we can learn to work with the “uncomfortable emotions and unwanted remembrances of previous interactions” as we make our choices and move away from feeling responsible for the reactions of others. When we allow ourselves to hold that space of uncomfortable emotions, and not react to them, we demonstrate for the others the experience of personal growth. I think as older women the most precious gift we can offer is to be vulnerable and step out of our comfort zones. While others may seem unsupportive, or be confused, let’s keep in mind that they are observing through the lens of their personal emotional experience. We have an opportunity to guide through our example.