PEDDLE FORWARD

They say that if you have learned to ride a bicycle you will never forget how. I remember learning as a child how to ride my bicycle. As a young mother, I taught my children to ride and later in life, I taught my granddaughter.

I no longer own a bicycle and yet I am confident that I can easily get on one and ride it safely.

At first, it is all about keeping the darn thing from falling over and taking you to the ground with it. “It’s all about balance”, I have heard many times.

In order to succeed we need to develop confidence in our ability to learn something new.  It’s not easy because there is fear.  Fear that we will fall. Fear that we will embarrass ourselves. Fear that we won’t actually learn how to do this thing that others seem to be enjoying so much. We need to be able to trust. We must trust the person passing on the knowledge from their own experience, but, most importantly we must trust ourselves.

If we have a desire to learn to ride the bicycle, and an experienced guide, in a short time we will be riding along blissfully enjoying the freedom of movement we have created for ourselves.

I remember teaching my eight-year-old granddaughter,  who now is in her 20s, to ride her bicycle. She had owned the bike for a couple of years but had not learned to ride it yet. We were on holiday at a cottage we often rented in the summer as a family and her brother was out riding his bike. When I asked her why she wasn’t riding, she explained that she didn’t know how. I was a bit surprised because I assumed, having owned a bike for almost two years, she was already riding.

“Do you want to learn”, I asked.  She replied, “It looks like fun, but I am afraid I will fall. I don’t think I am able to learn how to ride a bike”.

Saddened by her response, in my mind,  all sorts of things started to happen. The least of which was the determination to challenge, and hopefully manifest a successful ending, to this way of thinking for this dear little girl.

She had not yet learned to ride her bike but, more importantly, I was seeing that this “fear of falling” and lack of confidence was starting to unfold as a theme in her young life and would only grow if not skillfully challenged.

“Let’s walk your bike over to the open space and I will help you. “We can practice a little bit each day we are here”, I responded hoping she would trust me enough to give it a try.

By the end of that first afternoon, she was riding her bike.

Reflecting back on that day I realize that some of the pointers I was sharing with her on how to successfully move through her fear of the unknown outcome are very symbolic of how I talk to myself at this later stage of my life when confronted with unwelcome change. I remind myself :

• peddle forward and I will go ahead
• peddle backward and I will stop
• stay balanced
• letting go may seem scary but it’s necessary in order to move forward
• rest when needed
• keep my head up and my eyes open
• focus my attention on where I am going
  
• looking back while moving forward is risky
  
• relax and enjoy
• feeling a little afraid is normal when we are learning and growing
• learning is seldom smooth
• with the willingness to try something new, confidence builds

Every stage of our lives brings with it challenges and opportunities to stretch us beyond our comfort levels. This “third act” is no different.

The fear we might feel now is just like the fear my granddaughter was experiencing with the idea of learning to ride her bike. It’s a fear of the unknown and a questioning of our ability to deal with what could happen.  There are a number of areas we can become anxious about as we age and most of it feels very much out of our control.

It’s a fine balance between finding ways to methodically bring some control into our lives, where it is possible and learning to let go of that over which we have no control.   The most success we will have in taking any control is with our attitude.

Learning to ride her bike on that summer day at the cottage many years ago gave my granddaughter an experience from which she could later draw confidence in her ability to face challenges.   

We must remind ourselves at every stage of our lives that we have already faced our share of challenges and moved through fears to achieve things we may have thought were not possible.   Perhaps all is unfolding as it should and we could lighten up our grip a bit, trusting that we will move forward facing changes and fear as we have done in the past. With all those years of experience behind us, it’s safe to assume we are definitely up for the next challenge whatever shape that it might take.

Let’s peddle forward as we maintain our balance and enjoy the freedom that comes from learning to trust and let go.